Boom Boom Pow: Zumba @ The Ministry Of Sound with Tanya Beardsley

It has been an age since I last posted, so without further ado we'll get right to our most recent adventure: Angela and I went to the first Zumba night at the Ministry of Sound.

First off the ticket price (£12) was amazing given that we had the opportunity to be lead by Tanya Beardsley and thanks to synchronicity I happened to have a meeting in the capital that day.

Tanya Beardsley @ ministry

 The people there were hardcore zumba fans who busted some awesome moves, most of them also had the sense to come in groups of 3 or more.  Angela and I had not, we did meet some lovely people but all allegiances were thrown to the ground when the music got going; people scrambled to the front, desperate to get as close as possible to the stage. We don't knock ambition, but pushing past people in an already small room just seemed unnecessary.

The lighting could have been amazing, but I think that the ministry of sound forgot that a Zumba night requires a leader and if you can't see that leader...well...you're just shaking your butt in different directions in the hope that you're doing something right. Over the course of the session the lights on stage went off and a bright red light was shone onto the audience for a good chunk of time 2 or 3 times. Anyone further than 4 rows back was just blinded and by the time the stage lights went back up the people in the crowd who had not won 'guess the move' (myself included) looked just like this;

--- OK I have literally spent the better part of an hour searching for the hip hop class scene from the fighting irish episode of 30 rock. I have given up, all I can say is: HILARIOUS MAJOR FAIL on my dancing in the dark attempt ----

Another problem was that the screens only showed the top half of tanya's body, and as someone unable to see the stage I was one of the many people who had to decipher the steps based on her upper body movements - if you thought it was easy to guess footwork based on the movements of the upper half of someone's body from a distance then you were wrong, in the end everyone at the back was doing a chinese whisper step of the footwork at the front. Which was unashamedly bad.  At one point people were passing the directions to the step down the line, which was a pleasant surprise because you can feel a little lost at sea in those circumstances!

And when I was able to follow the steps? punching, stamping on toes, bruising, scratching and a busted lip.  At one point I got punched on both sides of my face by two different men at the same time, like a badly choreographed zombie jackie chan movie featuring only the medium of dancercise.
Angela's blood was drawn at least 6 times, and I came in at a close second with a total of 5, Lol! I don't know whether I should be laughing, but I can tell you that it doesn't hurt as much now.
While I think that a degree of stepping on toes and a little pushing or elbows meeting elbows (or arms) is to be expected the spacing should have been better planned.

And to add insult to injury, we were all watched by reality tv 'celebs' from a balcony above. I didn't recognise any of them but for those of you who are interested they are name dropped here. The guy holding the lady in the article was actually amazing though, seriously

There were three pro's, the first was Tanya, the second was the sound guys and runners who were all amazing and incredibly helpful, the management were flat out rude and the third was the amount of dancing talent in the room. If Tanya ever hosts a Zumba at the ministry of sound again then I would go with additions to my outfit; face pads, long sleeves and some sort of antiseptic spray!

If you plan on going our tips are to try and get to the front, stay hydrated, and try and go in groups of 3 or more! literally for space holding!


Did you go? What did you think?
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